There's always too much to do, isn't there? You may have noticed that I don't write in here as much as I used to. I can blame it on Alex, of course, or on my job (not so new anymore), but I'm beginning to wonder if I've just misplaced my sense of reflection somewhere.
The cars need washing, both of them - not a critical thing, but paintwork does degrade when you don't look after it. Cleaning off bird poo and applying a nice protective wax coat. My US tax return (yes, I still have to report to Uncle Sam, even if I don't give him any money) is five weeks overdue, although not really, since I get a two-month extension for being overseas. The house can always be cleaned up a little more. The laundry needs to be finished. The stack of to-be-read newspapers, which long ago became a running joke, is still there. Even in its new, stripped-down, lightweight incarnation.
That's just it. The biggest reason I keep the newspapers is for Deborah Forster's column in the Sunday Age. She writes beautiful reflections on everyday life, and is to a large extent responsible for inspiring the purple punch buggy. Today, I sat down to eat brekky while Alex was napping and caught up on a few weeks' worth. Deborah Forster, from what she writes about, does not strike me as someone with loads of free time. She's got kids, for one thing. And elderly parents to help look after. But she also has a highly developed sense of reflection, and the wisdom to appreciate it. So as I sat down today, I thought, bugger the car, the house, the washing, and the thought of simply getting through the newspapers. Why do I keep them, after all? So I did read the newspapers. Without hurrying (I think). Then I thought, it's about time I sat down long enough to appreciate the fact that I can sit down and appreciate things.
I'd like to say that tiredness has something to do with it. I'm sure that's true to some extent - in the evenings after work and dinner and Alex, I don't have a lot of energy, and I usually sit down to do nothing but waste time. It's ironic, since I often complain about not having enough time. But it does take less energy to read the i-do forum, or Autozine, or Dan's Data, than it does to sit down and appreciate and reflect and all that stuff that modern life tries to prevent us from doing. (For those that noticed, yes, I do actually hang out on a wedding forum site. Lest you think I'm strange, there are lots of long-married people on the forum, and they talk about many things besides weddings. Okay, okay, I'm the only male on the forum. So I am strange. So what?)
It's also about priorities. Last weekend I installed a subwoofer in my car (cue readers rolling their eyes and thinking, great, another stupid doof-doof car). It took a whole day. And yesterday I spent a couple of hours putting handles on the speaker box, because I'm sick of nearly dropping it every time I remove it from the car. Now, I don't have to have a doof-doof car. And I certainly don't need to forfeit half my boot space to a stupid heavy speaker box. But I want to, and I have the means, and I can still fit Alex's pusher (stroller) in the boot, so that's how it is. Anyway, the speaker box (sans subwoofer) was there long before Alex, and even Lisa, came into my life. And Lisa married me anyway! And the subwoofer doesn't go doof-doof anything near as loud or annoyingly as the ones you hear driving down Chapel St. on Friday night, and I don't play it loud with Alex in the car.
But I digress. I was talking about priorities. I don't want to beat myself up over not doing the things I "should" be doing, but I do think I should start spending more time working on my sense of reflection.
Okay, and maybe a bit more time on Alex's website.*
Doof-Doof.
* and Jenna's website. Just to satisfy Sarah (who was present at Alex's birth).