Life is unfair, isn't it? How is it decided that some people get lucky and some people have to suffer? There but for the grace of God go I, or something to that effect.
Lately I have been forced to sit and watch as some of my friends struggle through the hardest times in their lives, and know that there is nothing tangible I can do that will make a difference. I can give money to a charity to help tsunami victims that I will never know and never meet, but I cannot offer anything but an ear, or words on a page, for some of the closest people in my life. I can't even offer hugs, because none of them live near enough.
My friends are wonderful, intelligent, giving, caring people. And they are not afraid to take responsibility for whatever choices they made that might have led to their situations. But sometimes it just comes down to luck. Or fate. And even if it's not a question of dumb luck, I still wish there was something I could do.
What can you do to help someone whose marriage hasn't worked out, who had no fairy tale illusions but must still mourn the loss of a dream that she tried to make real? How do you help her make it through the lonely days and nights where she second-guesses her decision to leave and misses the comfort of the home she worked so hard to build?
What can you do to help the most giving, caring person to see that she is worth more than her husband and family give her credit for? What can you do when she has to suffer being disregarded and disrespected time after time?
What can you do to help a mother who has to battle depression alone, even when her husband is right there? What can you do when you know she isn't willing to give up on the marriage, even as she begins inflicting harm on herself and he doesn't even notice? What can you do to help a gorgeous little girl who may not understand, but still can't fail to be affected by her mummy's unhappiness?
What can you do to help an expectant mother who has to battle depression and still cope with a first child who is so highly strung that the smallest break in his routine turns the day, and night, into a living hell? What can you do when the support of her wonderful husband and family still cannot prevent the blackness from flooding in, the fear of how the new baby will disrupt what little peace they've managed to find so far?
On behalf of my friends, and you know who you are, I make this small plea to whatever power in the Universe might be able to make a difference: Help. They deserve to be happy.